SEEING THE SIGNS
Know when it’s time to say ‘no’.
Getting Real With Our Boundaries
Let’s be honest - it can be quite taxing to have to speak up. Whether it's a friend we love, a boss we respect, or a pleading child, it’s not always easy to set a limit. Culturally, women have grown up with the pressure to please. To bend, pivot and acquiesce, all in the name of “loving others.” What if we told you that isn’t really love?
In fact, silencing and ignoring our needs often breeds exhaustion and resentment, taking us further away from what we truly desire: to pour into others from a place of wholeness.
5 SIGNS
Your No Isn’t Being Heard
These might sound familiar if you aren’t setting boundaries.
1. You dread going to your next event.
You knew you didn’t have the bandwidth for this activity or engagement, even as the word “yes” came of your mouth. Now that it’s time to follow through, you find yourself dragging your feet to get it done.
2. You’re finding it hard to stay present.
Perhaps it’s lack of sleep, hunger, or a general feeling of being “off.” Even when you’re not having to “do it all”, you feel the pressure to achieve, or a restlessness that you’re missing something on your never-ending to-do list. It’s hard to focus on conversations and moments, even the ones you were looking forward to.
3. Your body is telling you to slow down, but you can’t.
Our bodies have interesting ways of communicating with us when we don’t prioritize rest. We’ve all heard the stories — that person who always catches a cold after a conference or the friend who got sick right before that big meeting that she’d been preparing for all month. The truth is, we have a hard time caring for ourselves because we’re conditioned to “earn our rest.”
4. You answer the call, even when you don’t really want to.
Maybe it’s a friend or family member who unloads their problems on you without a filter, or you find yourself agreeing to things that you’d otherwise never say yes to if it were someone else. You shoulder the burden or expend your own energy holding space for others, without asking others to do the same for you.
5. You just plain don’t want to.
We often minimize our own needs and wants to avoid facing the backlash of a 'no’ when others have grown accustomed to expecting ‘yes’ from us. You feel guilty when you find yourself wanting to say ‘no’, despite the fact you’re allowed to say it — just because.
Do you need urgent help or someone to talk to?
Call National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 988
Text Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
