Leaning on the Support of Your Partner
When the struggles are real, it is not uncommon to internalize the pain by keeping to ourselves and trying to muster through. As you go through your motherhood journey, remember to lean on the love and support of your husband or partner by including them in the process. Parenthood is a life-changing transformation - you will both never be the same again. When a new baby takes center stage, it is far too easy to push your relationship to the back burner and forget the love that brought you to this place in the first place. While regular date nights might not exactly be realistic, there are many ways to keep your partner involved as a proactive part of your healing.
Learn and Grow Together
Remember that your husband or partner is simply not a mind-reader. They are learning through this process, just like you, and may not necessarily understand what it is that you are needing or feeling.
Use this new experience of parenthood as an opportunity to deepen your relationship and the bonds that you share as a family unit. There are few experiences in life that will challenge your marriage like parenthood, but embrace this transition as something that will strengthen your relationship and bring you closer together as a couple. When circumstances feel overwhelming, push into each other rather than away from one another, drawing from each other's strengths and protecting one another during moments of vulnerability. By doing so, you are reinforcing the very foundation of your marriage and family unit.
Be Transparent and Honest With Each Other
Talk about what you are experiencing together, communicate openly about what you need during your time of physical and mental healing. Let your partner be a safe place of support and rest during this time of vulnerability.
Feeling safe to communicate vulnerabilities with your spouse must come from a place of mutual trust, respect, selflessness, and humility. These are important aspects of a healthy relationship that allow partners to experience the highs and lows that come with parenting while maintaining the integrity of a marriage.
Consider evaluating your relationship together before baby makes its arrival and determine if there are aspects that you hope to improve or grow stronger in. Remember - babies do not "fix" anything and often add unique challenges to a marriage. Working together to strengthen your communication skills and support each other's needs can help you ease into this transition of parenthood.
Consider these talking points to address when discussing your upcoming transition into parenthood with your spouse:
- How can we maintain communication with one another during moments of stress, uncertainty, fear, etc?
- What are ways that we can help each other remain connected with a new baby?
- How can we support the intentional growth of our marriage during this transition?
- What are our non-negotiables in our relationship that we are committed to upholding (ie, eating a meal together each day, spending one night a week talking, etc)?
Above all, let yourself be loved and cherished, knowing that motherhood is but a chapter in your journey that is creating your uniquely beautiful life story.